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By Janis Russell
Photo (L to R): foundation intern Malena Habib, foundation program director Benita Page, site mentor Rocio Hernandez, and foundation executive director Tasreen Khamisa.
October 3, 2016 (La Mesa) - The Tariq Khamisa Foundation (TKF) has been going through its safe school model at La Mesa Arts Academy for two years. The safe school model includes class curriculum, a restorative practice educational curriculum (TKF Circle of Peace Curriculum). Founded by the sister of Tariq Khamisa, who was killed by a gang member, the program has resulted in a 72% reduction in suspension and 72% increase in school attendance in San Diego schools where it has been implemented.
ECM was there as the foundation’s program director, Benita Page, taught the second session of the curriculum to a class at the academy last Friday September 30. According to the curriculum handout, session two highlighted that in order “to be restorative, we have to look at our feelings when something harmful has happened.” Students learned: 1) When something happens to us or we do something to someone else, we experience thoughts and feelings about it. 2) We are now dealing with those feelings and thoughts. 3) Harmful situations can get connected to our reactions, behaviors, and thinking.
“If we don’t take care of those (negative) feelings, we get stuck. It’s important we start talking about what’s happened.” She wanted to know how many kids have been bullied and how many have gotten into an argument with their siblings. A lot of hands went up for both questions.
Page told the students that they needed to start to understand their feelings, and she then asked what they thought needs were. One response was that needs were “stuff you don’t just want.” Page clarified, “It’s kind of like what we have to be to be people… Needs help us grow. Our needs vary sometimes.” She added, “When our needs are being met, we have positive feelings.” The curriculum was put together in a packet, and included a list of needs. According to that packet, needs are the basic human requirement of healthy development for everyone.
Page asked the students why some of those items listed were needs: affection/love, choices, exercise, order, and touch/warmth.
Affection/love is a need because a person wants “to show you care for people.” The students thought choice was a need because you’ll need to make decisions. Page added, “[It’s] how we can become independent.” Exercise is a need, “so you get can stronger,” said one student. Another student said, “It keeps you fit...and healthy.” Another student replied, “It gives us energy.” One response was, “It makes us happy.” When asked why order was a need, a student responded, “So humans don’t go crazy.” Someone else answered, “[so you can] stay on order and on track to get along with society.” Page said, “It helps keep things from feeling very chaotic.” One student thought touch/warmth was a need because “you get cold at night.” Page clarified, “Touch also shows we care. It can actually make us feel warm inside” through hugs.
Students were then instructed to circle two needs on the paper given that were important to them. When Page asked what needs they chose and why, a couple responses were: “Hugs make us feel better.” “We need to know people are ok.”
Page wanted to know how many of the students have a dog or like dogs. Several hands went up. Page said, “I have a brother; he just won’t go near a dog.” When he was little, a dog jumped over the fence and bit him several times. Now he has a bird as a pet, something that he knows won’t attack him.
Page then asked the students to circle the feelings they’ve been experiencing lately on the handout they were given. She then had the students share.
Next, Malena Habib, an intern for the foundation, went through the Actions Connection Exercise. That shows how actions are connected to feelings, which are then connected to needs. One example of a situation was “Got an award for your participation on a sports team.” This was a positive experience, where needs were met. Needs met included accomplishment, belonging/teamwork, and appreciation. Students said they would feel proud, happy, and joyful if that happened. A negative experience was “You got grounded for not cleaning your room.” This was a negative experience, where needs weren’t met. The needs that could have been met included accomplishment and order. If they got grounded, students said they would feel mad and annoyed among other feelings.
Page thanked the students for being willing to share their feelings.
Tasreen Khamisa, executive director of the foundation, told ECM the curriculum facilitator at the school was at Sweetwater, which was why Page taught the class curriculum. It was Page’s first time doing it.
There is a mentor at the academy, Rocio Hernandez. Her story is in the TKF Transformation pamphlet. She was bullied and attacked by gang members in middle school. That same day, she had stayed after school to finish up a project against violence. She chose to present the project the next day. A TKF staff member reached out to Hernandez and offered her support. “[The mentor] helped me to establish a Peace Club at Monroe Middle School and encouraged us to organize a peaceful march to inform the community on the issues of youth violence”, Hernandez recalled. This experience with TKF positively impacted her. She became a first generation college graduate at UC Berkeley in 2014, and now works at TKF full-time.
To see the interview with Tasreen Khamisa and to learn more about TFK, view: http://www.eastcountymagazine.org/tariq-khamisa-foundation-makes-impact-schools-help-end-youth-violence.
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